A lot of international societies suffer from the
international phenomenon of girls\' runaway; some of it form a real
crisis, but we in Saudi Arabia for many main reasons as the nature of
Saudi society that based on Religiosity and the valuable customs and
traditions this problem doesn\'t reach the limit of a phenomenon, but it
is very important to treat it as it touches girls section the future
mothers and offend to this Muslim society and its humanity, and to
prevent its aggravation and leading to social dangers and family
incoherence , and before all that for the victory of mercy and loving
between family members the nuclear of Muslim society by the examination
of its reasons and finding its suitable solutions. By looking at these
situations which we see a lot of them in the daily newspapers we will
find that it is a result of a common mistake between the girl and its
family.
All the views almost agree about the case reasons and its treatment ways
and finding the best solution of this case is to recall the efforts
cooperation of official and local society institution to treat it
.starting from caring obsession of Arabian human and to supply the kind
care for him, and also starting from religious teachings and society
values which move us to try to purify it from defects and destroying
ailment and negative phenomenon which threaten its peace and safety.
Sociologists classifies girls runaway to moral runway where girl
isolates from her family in her own room because of the cruelty of
masculine society which is represented in father and brother and she
lives in a total isolated world through internet and mobile, and there
is the material runaway which is the investigation core and we are going
to talk about it with some specializes.
We take some experts views to discuss this issue from its different sides and to focus on its reasons.
In the beginning we will discuss the story of one of the girls who
starts her addiction after her parents separation when she was eleven
years old ,through one of her friends and she was at the same time her
neighbor and nine years older than her and she went to her to solve her
problems, she started her addiction by a normal cigarette and then she
stole cigarette from her drunkard father and at the age of thirteen she
started trying to runaway from her house with the help of this close
neighbor to solve her problems. As the mother was busy with her new
husband, she neglects her family and her sons, this make the neighbor to
be the shelter and hideaway to the girl.
The girl\'s corruption developed when she started taking hashish and
narcotic pills and this is a normal disturbance result in the
personality and the repeated runaway from the house in the absence of
family control and starting relationships with boys and she got arrested
more than one time as well as many suicide attempts.
Taking concerned opinions about this problem and how to help involved
people and advising them, we met with Hessa AlGhamedi the psychological
specialist at AlAmal complex for mental health that said: this story is a
symbol of many stories of family incoherence are as called (weak
families) that leads to early disturbances and corruptions like that
girl who really needs an ideal model at that age, she needs someone to
listen to her, direct and support her to feel of her existence and
value, as she is in a physical and psychological stage of growth, but as
a result of family incoherence the girl turned to the wrong person (the
neighbor), she started to imitate her in addiction and of course she
earned a lot of corruption morals related to addiction as stealing and
runaway from home.
Concerned with relationships Professor Hessa sees that the
responsibility here is put on her family but there is no benefit from
blaming as it is better to put her in the nearest hospital to offer the
suitable therapy from a complete therapeutic team to change a lot from
her wrong ideas, concepts and morals.
She is in a sensitive stage of age and she still in a growth period and
this will help in changing her easily. Also the guidance of her family
members because their connection is very important, and to strengthen
the relationship between them to supply the girl with a normal family
capable of helping her to return to live in a right way.
From his side, Dr. Sultan Bin Ahmad AlThakafy the director of
Information Affairs Authority at Prince Nayef Arabian University for
security sciences said: I don\'t think that girls\' runaway problem
represents a big phenomenon in our society but I think that it is
currently increased more than previous years but the phenomenon in this
field is the runaway of housekeepers of different nationalities to the
extent that annoy family and security departments, but about Saudi girls
runaway Dr. AlThakafy sees that there is a lot of reasons and
motivations behind that and at the same time don’t vindicate that
deviated behavior and the most important cause is the family incoherence
and conflictions inside the family, or over control from one or some of
family members, or loosing tenderness, and emotional deprivation,
absence of family control as well as family disturbances.
Culture is another reason and difference between parents\' generation
and sons\' generation since old parents think that young boys and girls
don’t know their behalf. In the contrary young boys and girls see that
their parents are traditional and they can not understand modern
language or its needs, the conflict starts from here and the gap between
parents\' generation and sons\' generation increases especially if we
know that our schools and families do not encourage the conversation and
the argument language but mostly ordering and forbidding.
The revolution in the world of communications and information increases opening opportunities in all directions.
In addition to rapid contacting with anything and everything in modern
human village as well as the increase in enticements and attractions
plus weakness of psychic resistance are factors that help in runaway to
deviation world generally.
He ends his words saying: From any point of view we should strengthen
values of every one male or female and support personal immunity of
people and societies.
While; values, personal resistance, and personal immunity increase this
will lead to protection of people from corruption and entering personal
control stage one morals and behaviors.
Patients generation must be more open with their sons through
conversation and conviction and strengthening of immunity conception and
personal supervision and providing them with the most degree of
psychological and emotional satisfaction of all sons\' demands
especially daughters because their available entertainment and self
relaxation is less than other society members because the girl is the
family project and the nuclear of the whole family.
Dr. Sakr Bin Mohamad AlMokayad the head of International Corporation of
Prince Nayef Arabian University confirms what Dr. AlThakafy said that
the issue does not reach the phenomenon limit and he says that we can
not accept that girls runaway became a phenomenon that demand attention
and there is no accurate statistics and this does not allow the
existence of a lot of personal cases, and they need a lot of studies to
know the problem and suggest the necessary solution for it, he continues
that surrender to any form of social disobey is a mental laziness as
we live a confliction world and we cannot control world effluence and
changes that accompanied it.
Social changes are correlated with a group of expressions like
developing and improvement but it differs from it in one point which is
Changing is a neutral expression which human judgment does not control
it, at he same time it carries positive and negative signs, then we have
to get ready for that change and advantage from its utility and get rid
of its disadvantage as the nucleolus.
Girls\' runaway may be as a result of family violence, this problem is
due to family failure in performing its function in the presence of
changes that hit the society in addition to family position
complications, modern factors and woman work, but family remains as the
social and the moral institution for protecting girls, knowing that the
Arabian family generally deals with girls oppression as it is socially
accepted due to their protection and keeping them from addiction to mix
between punishment ways and bad treatment and secrecy in treating
problems because its exposure is considered as a social scandal with
using a lot of expressions like blaming and rebuking and decrease in
mental abilities.
Dr. AlMokayad summarizes the causes of girls\' runaway in: family
violence, bad relation between parents and body violence that she is
exposed to it and growing up without a good model, male control, social
situation, wrong cultural beliefs, bad friends, weakness of beliefs
(empty spirit), disturbances, anxiety, irritation and bad investment of
spare time.
A research was made in the United States 1996 cleared that 7192 of girls
are victims of bad family treatment. In a Unisef research it was found
that 47% of girls working in sex trade in Middle America countries were
victims of bad family treatment in childhood leading them to violence
and crimes more than others.
There are three kinds of protection:
Primary protection which means stop crisis before occurrence
Secondary protection which means crisis after occurrence
Third this means crisis before spreading and turning to a problem and becoming a social phenomenon.
We have to take care of the disgraceful cultural invasion through
hundreds of spreading satellite channels, pornography and at least
there is a night club at every home, challenging that invasion will not
come only by moral and spiritual vaccination and social correction, we
have to reconsider looking at vacation culture as parents prefer
spending more of their time and neglecting their kids, also some parents
spoil their sons excessively and in the contrary some kids suffer from
concrete emotions.
All those factors will lead girl to isolation, weakness and being easily invested by evils as well as blundering.
At the end of his talking Dr. AlMokayad confirms that rising up religion is best solution in the presence of spreading media.
Girls must trust themselves as well as their parents putting in
consideration that they are future mothers with heavy loads and
responsibilities as a result of that and homeland wait for them, so who
satisfy will get satisfaction but who dissatisfy will get
dissatisfaction.
Allah said in Quran:
And We have assigned them (devils) intimate companions (in this world),
who have made fair-seeming to them, what was before them (evil deeds
which they were doing in the present worldly life and disbelief in the
Reckoning and the Resurrection, etc.) and what was behind them (denial
of the matters in the coming life of the Hereafter as regards punishment
or reward, etc.). And the Word (i.e. the torment) is justified against
them as it was justified against those who were among the previous
generations of jinns and men that had passed away before them. Indeed
they (all) were the losers. (Fussilat 25).
He also said: And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the
remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allâh) (i.e. this Qur\'ân and
worship of Allâh), We appoint for him Shaitân (Satan * devil) to be a
Qarîn (an intimate companion) to him. (Az-Zukhruf 36).
Girls\' runaway is escaping from reality, by these words professor Dr.
Abd alRahman Bin Ebrahim AlShaer the Dean of Studies and Researches
Center, starts his speech as he clarify that this issue is an
international social phenomenon that assures their escape from reality
since following modern social changes notice the contradictions in the
life of a lot of girls.
That phenomenon seems to be personal since he personality is the
regulator of human behavior hat characterize him from other creatures as
it includes habits, ideas, directions and attentions thus culture
reactions discharges with all expressions: cultural, social, economic,
and educational are causes of this phenomenon.
Social studies confirmed that family problems are the most reason and
strict bringing up by either parents or one of them against girls,
differentiation between sons as well as bad influence of bad friends who
affects girl morals.
Prof. Dr. AlShaer points that there are many kinds of girls runaway to
go away from reality or environment as moral runaway , material runaway
and organic runaway as a result of objections. He added that the most
important reason is the weakness of religious purpose, accompanying bad
friends, media influence, excessive spoiling, and family over control of
parents or brother leading to girls runaway searching for a safe
environment for her psychological and physiological condition.
For limitation of this phenomenon family should be advised by correct
bringing up methods and activation of social specialist role in schools,
and universities as well as mosques and social institutes through
learning and cultural programs that concentrate on problems that face
the girl and how to encounter it.
Information specialist Dr.Foad Tawfic AlAni said: this phenomenon is
very strange in our Arabic and Islamic societies as it is a social
phenomenon added to other phenomena that affect the world today and he
has many questions like: do we start to pay tax of our development and
modern technical information?
What are the causes? Could we limit it before spreading according to?
(Immunity is better than treatment)? What is the solution and how?
Dr. AlAni continue saying that there is no controversy that family is
considered the social regulation center of Islam as it is the most
wonderful cell made by rational human brain as it is based on different
moral ethics as altruism. Islamic families is the most effective means
in constructing righteous family depending on ( presence, continuity and
stability) good relation between partners in the ambience of (mercy,
intimacy and negativism).
Allah create our mother eve to perform her role and to entertain Adam
peace be upon him and create her from his rib to make a good relation
between them.
Allah teaches us that everything in the earth is based on couples and he
creates their sons and daughters with distinctive characteristics to
integrate each others not to antagonize.
Girls\' runaway became the hour issue with many questions about family
cracking and violence to avoid evils away from family due to destructive
results on society and motherland values threatening its safety and
stability.
It is known that bringing up sons is a sharing responsibility between
parents and recently it is more due to the challenges that face recent
generations.
Opportunities offered by modern life culturally, educationally and
knowledge has parallel hard challenges and ability to react with since
satellites, internet and mobile facilitate getting information and at
the same time affect ethics, value, and personality so taking care
became very important to antagonize those reactions and to protect sons
from deviation.
This will occur in case of parents\' accord as well as surrounding media (media-culture- mosque-school – religion men – sermon).
Son or daughter is no longer a receiver; today he usually has more information than his father.
Dr. AlAni denotes also that weakness of religious target, bad friends,
mingling with them, smartening up, parents busyness with demesne issues
with no time to sons, preferring one son, non asking about son friends,
in addition to old maid and its related endless problems as the bad
treatment from father and over control of him and ordering her to stay
at home desiring her salary if she is working or marring he from
unsuitable partner either in education, age or in social and
psychological situation.
Dr. AlAni is asking about the solution and he answered that diagnosing
the disease is present and there is a consensus on it: Religion but who
has the authority to oblige the patient by treatment, this is the
question?
What is the law that oblige patient?
We think that it is Islam system (mercy, intimacy and tranquility).
Islamic guidance (according to Quran) is the right entrance to make the
balanced Islamic personality to upbringing of a generation knowing his
religion clutching with it, merit lover and depravity averse and this
can happen through:
Vaccination which is the scientific method to face deviation
Correction which is the immune part by positive culture in order to funds any strange values and traditions.
Following up of sons : alert supervision of cultural and directing methods.
At the end Dr. AlAni said that the last speech is to parents as them
should not disagree in front of sons especially in case of sensitive and
essential issues particularly girls as they are characterized by
weakness, sensitivity and emotions and they should prevent excessive
spoiling and at the same time avoiding austerity, violence and rigidity
in dealing since both ways are wrong thus average, balance and
reasonability.
Professor Dr. muhamad Madani Bosak the head of justice department at
Prince Nayef Arabian University for security sciences present a valuable
advice for girls saying:
Allah with his generosity specify man and characterize him to raise his
position as he creates him in the best form and offer him with two
pairs man and woman and Islam care of woman extensively to stay booster
and honored surrounded by father mercy and kindness as well as
protection and care of her husband thus Allah gave her more rights than
man to be a precious jewel protected from any harm since she is for
jewelries and beautification needed from man and when has sons she
prepares men and women so her grace increases as she is the mother of
hero, kings and scientists and the whole kiss her hand and bow and you
never her from her except good words mercy and supplications, therefore
each girl should know that her esteem and glory is associated with
herself respectfulness and her family.
She should protect herself to indecency and loss that lead to loss of every thing.
Girls who runaway from home and scandal her family have no future and
walk in a dark ay after loosing cozy family nest surrounding them with
love and care replacing them by fierce monsters that do present anything
freely and destroying them leaving them after loosing everything except
repent and regret as well as Allah anger and torment in on earth and in
the otherworld
