الجمعة، 12 أكتوبر 2012

A lot of international societies suffer from the international phenomenon of girls\' runaway; some of it form a real crisis, but we in Saudi Arabia for many main reasons as the nature of Saudi society that based on Religiosity and the valuable customs and traditions this problem doesn\'t reach the limit of a phenomenon, but it is very important to treat it as it touches girls section the future mothers and offend to this Muslim society and its humanity, and to prevent its aggravation and leading to social dangers and family incoherence , and before all that for the victory of mercy and loving between family members the nuclear of Muslim society by the examination of its reasons and finding its suitable solutions. By looking at these situations which we see a lot of them in the daily newspapers we will find that it is a result of a common mistake between the girl and its family.

All the views almost agree about the case reasons and its treatment ways and finding the best solution of this case is to recall the efforts cooperation of official and local society institution to treat it .starting from caring obsession of Arabian human and to supply the kind care for him, and also starting from religious teachings and society values which move us to try to purify it from defects and destroying ailment and negative phenomenon which threaten its peace and safety.

Sociologists classifies girls runaway to moral runway where girl isolates from her family in her own room because of the cruelty of masculine society which is represented in father and brother and she lives in a total isolated world through internet and mobile, and there is the material runaway which is the investigation core and we are going to talk about it with some specializes.

We take some experts views to discuss this issue from its different sides and to focus on its reasons.

In the beginning we will discuss the story of one of the girls who starts her addiction after her parents separation when she was eleven years old ,through one of her friends and she was at the same time her neighbor and nine years older than her and she went to her to solve her problems, she started her addiction by a normal cigarette and then she stole cigarette from her drunkard father and at the age of thirteen she started trying to runaway from her house with the help of this close neighbor to solve her problems. As the mother was busy with her new husband, she neglects her family and her sons, this make the neighbor to be the shelter and hideaway to the girl.

The girl\'s corruption developed when she started taking hashish and narcotic pills and this is a normal disturbance result in the personality and the repeated runaway from the house in the absence of family control and starting relationships with boys and she got arrested more than one time as well as many suicide attempts.

Taking concerned opinions about this problem and how to help involved people and advising them, we met with Hessa AlGhamedi the psychological specialist at AlAmal complex for mental health that said: this story is a symbol of many stories of family incoherence are as called (weak families) that leads to early disturbances and corruptions like that girl who really needs an ideal model at that age, she needs someone to listen to her, direct and support her to feel of her existence and value, as she is in a physical and psychological stage of growth, but as a result of family incoherence the girl turned to the wrong person (the neighbor), she started to imitate her in addiction and of course she earned a lot of corruption morals related to addiction as stealing and runaway from home.

Concerned with relationships Professor Hessa sees that the responsibility here is put on her family but there is no benefit from blaming as it is better to put her in the nearest hospital to offer the suitable therapy from a complete therapeutic team to change a lot from her wrong ideas, concepts and morals.

She is in a sensitive stage of age and she still in a growth period and this will help in changing her easily. Also the guidance of her family members because their connection is very important, and to strengthen the relationship between them to supply the girl with a normal family capable of helping her to return to live in a right way.

From his side, Dr. Sultan Bin Ahmad AlThakafy the director of Information Affairs Authority at Prince Nayef Arabian University for security sciences said: I don\'t think that girls\' runaway problem represents a big phenomenon in our society but I think that it is currently increased more than previous years but the phenomenon in this field is the runaway of housekeepers of different nationalities to the extent that annoy family and security departments, but about Saudi girls runaway Dr. AlThakafy sees that there is a lot of reasons and motivations behind that and at the same time don’t vindicate that deviated behavior and the most important cause is the family incoherence and conflictions inside the family, or over control from one or some of family members, or loosing tenderness, and emotional deprivation, absence of family control as well as family disturbances.

Culture is another reason and difference between parents\' generation and sons\' generation since old parents think that young boys and girls don’t know their behalf. In the contrary young boys and girls see that their parents are traditional and they can not understand modern language or its needs, the conflict starts from here and the gap between parents\' generation and sons\' generation increases especially if we know that our schools and families do not encourage the conversation and the argument language but mostly ordering and forbidding.

The revolution in the world of communications and information increases opening opportunities in all directions.

In addition to rapid contacting with anything and everything in modern human village as well as the increase in enticements and attractions plus weakness of psychic resistance are factors that help in runaway to deviation world generally.

He ends his words saying: From any point of view we should strengthen values of every one male or female and support personal immunity of people and societies.

While; values, personal resistance, and personal immunity increase this will lead to protection of people from corruption and entering personal control stage one morals and behaviors.

Patients generation must be more open with their sons through conversation and conviction and strengthening of immunity conception and personal supervision and providing them with the most degree of psychological and emotional satisfaction of all sons\' demands especially daughters because their available entertainment and self relaxation is less than other society members because the girl is the family project and the nuclear of the whole family.

Dr. Sakr Bin Mohamad AlMokayad the head of International Corporation of Prince Nayef Arabian University confirms what Dr. AlThakafy said that the issue does not reach the phenomenon limit and he says that we can not accept that girls runaway became a phenomenon that demand attention and there is no accurate statistics and this does not allow the existence of a lot of personal cases, and they need a lot of studies to know the problem and suggest the necessary solution for it, he continues that surrender to any form of social disobey is a mental laziness as we live a confliction world and we cannot control world effluence and changes that accompanied it.

Social changes are correlated with a group of expressions like developing and improvement but it differs from it in one point which is Changing is a neutral expression which human judgment does not control it, at he same time it carries positive and negative signs, then we have to get ready for that change and advantage from its utility and get rid of its disadvantage as the nucleolus.

Girls\' runaway may be as a result of family violence, this problem is due to family failure in performing its function in the presence of changes that hit the society in addition to family position complications, modern factors and woman work, but family remains as the social and the moral institution for protecting girls, knowing that the Arabian family generally deals with girls oppression as it is socially accepted due to their protection and keeping them from addiction to mix between punishment ways and bad treatment and secrecy in treating problems because its exposure is considered as a social scandal with using a lot of expressions like blaming and rebuking and decrease in mental abilities.

Dr. AlMokayad summarizes the causes of girls\' runaway in: family violence, bad relation between parents and body violence that she is exposed to it and growing up without a good model, male control, social situation, wrong cultural beliefs, bad friends, weakness of beliefs (empty spirit), disturbances, anxiety, irritation and bad investment of spare time.

A research was made in the United States 1996 cleared that 7192 of girls are victims of bad family treatment. In a Unisef research it was found that 47% of girls working in sex trade in Middle America countries were victims of bad family treatment in childhood leading them to violence and crimes more than others.

There are three kinds of protection:

Primary protection which means stop crisis before occurrence

Secondary protection which means crisis after occurrence

Third this means crisis before spreading and turning to a problem and becoming a social phenomenon.

We have to take care of the disgraceful cultural invasion through hundreds of spreading satellite channels, pornography and at least there is a night club at every home, challenging that invasion will not come only by moral and spiritual vaccination and social correction, we have to reconsider looking at vacation culture as parents prefer spending more of their time and neglecting their kids, also some parents spoil their sons excessively and in the contrary some kids suffer from concrete emotions.

All those factors will lead girl to isolation, weakness and being easily invested by evils as well as blundering.

At the end of his talking Dr. AlMokayad confirms that rising up religion is best solution in the presence of spreading media.

Girls must trust themselves as well as their parents putting in consideration that they are future mothers with heavy loads and responsibilities as a result of that and homeland wait for them, so who satisfy will get satisfaction but who dissatisfy will get dissatisfaction.

Allah said in Quran:

And We have assigned them (devils) intimate companions (in this world), who have made fair-seeming to them, what was before them (evil deeds which they were doing in the present worldly life and disbelief in the Reckoning and the Resurrection, etc.) and what was behind them (denial of the matters in the coming life of the Hereafter as regards punishment or reward, etc.). And the Word (i.e. the torment) is justified against them as it was justified against those who were among the previous generations of jinns and men that had passed away before them. Indeed they (all) were the losers. (Fussilat 25).

He also said: And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allâh) (i.e. this Qur\'ân and worship of Allâh), We appoint for him Shaitân (Satan * devil) to be a Qarîn (an intimate companion) to him. (Az-Zukhruf 36).

Girls\' runaway is escaping from reality, by these words professor Dr. Abd alRahman Bin Ebrahim AlShaer the Dean of Studies and Researches Center, starts his speech as he clarify that this issue is an international social phenomenon that assures their escape from reality since following modern social changes notice the contradictions in the life of a lot of girls.

That phenomenon seems to be personal since he personality is the regulator of human behavior hat characterize him from other creatures as it includes habits, ideas, directions and attentions thus culture reactions discharges with all expressions: cultural, social, economic, and educational are causes of this phenomenon.

Social studies confirmed that family problems are the most reason and strict bringing up by either parents or one of them against girls, differentiation between sons as well as bad influence of bad friends who affects girl morals.

Prof. Dr. AlShaer points that there are many kinds of girls runaway to go away from reality or environment as moral runaway , material runaway and organic runaway as a result of objections. He added that the most important reason is the weakness of religious purpose, accompanying bad friends, media influence, excessive spoiling, and family over control of parents or brother leading to girls runaway searching for a safe environment for her psychological and physiological condition.

For limitation of this phenomenon family should be advised by correct bringing up methods and activation of social specialist role in schools, and universities as well as mosques and social institutes through learning and cultural programs that concentrate on problems that face the girl and how to encounter it.

Information specialist Dr.Foad Tawfic AlAni said: this phenomenon is very strange in our Arabic and Islamic societies as it is a social phenomenon added to other phenomena that affect the world today and he has many questions like: do we start to pay tax of our development and modern technical information?

What are the causes? Could we limit it before spreading according to?

(Immunity is better than treatment)? What is the solution and how?

Dr. AlAni continue saying that there is no controversy that family is considered the social regulation center of Islam as it is the most wonderful cell made by rational human brain as it is based on different moral ethics as altruism. Islamic families is the most effective means in constructing righteous family depending on ( presence, continuity and stability) good relation between partners in the ambience of (mercy, intimacy and negativism).

Allah create our mother eve to perform her role and to entertain Adam peace be upon him and create her from his rib to make a good relation between them.

Allah teaches us that everything in the earth is based on couples and he creates their sons and daughters with distinctive characteristics to integrate each others not to antagonize.

Girls\' runaway became the hour issue with many questions about family cracking and violence to avoid evils away from family due to destructive results on society and motherland values threatening its safety and stability.

It is known that bringing up sons is a sharing responsibility between parents and recently it is more due to the challenges that face recent generations.

Opportunities offered by modern life culturally, educationally and knowledge has parallel hard challenges and ability to react with since satellites, internet and mobile facilitate getting information and at the same time affect ethics, value, and personality so taking care became very important to antagonize those reactions and to protect sons from deviation.

This will occur in case of parents\' accord as well as surrounding media (media-culture- mosque-school – religion men – sermon).

Son or daughter is no longer a receiver; today he usually has more information than his father.

Dr. AlAni denotes also that weakness of religious target, bad friends, mingling with them, smartening up, parents busyness with demesne issues with no time to sons, preferring one son, non asking about son friends, in addition to old maid and its related endless problems as the bad treatment from father and over control of him and ordering her to stay at home desiring her salary if she is working or marring he from unsuitable partner either in education, age or in social and psychological situation.

Dr. AlAni is asking about the solution and he answered that diagnosing the disease is present and there is a consensus on it: Religion but who has the authority to oblige the patient by treatment, this is the question?

What is the law that oblige patient?

We think that it is Islam system (mercy, intimacy and tranquility).

Islamic guidance (according to Quran) is the right entrance to make the balanced Islamic personality to upbringing of a generation knowing his religion clutching with it, merit lover and depravity averse and this can happen through:

Vaccination which is the scientific method to face deviation

Correction which is the immune part by positive culture in order to funds any strange values and traditions.

Following up of sons : alert supervision of cultural and directing methods.

At the end Dr. AlAni said that the last speech is to parents as them should not disagree in front of sons especially in case of sensitive and essential issues particularly girls as they are characterized by weakness, sensitivity and emotions and they should prevent excessive spoiling and at the same time avoiding austerity, violence and rigidity in dealing since both ways are wrong thus average, balance and reasonability.

Professor Dr. muhamad Madani Bosak the head of justice department at Prince Nayef Arabian University for security sciences present a valuable advice for girls saying:

Allah with his generosity specify man and characterize him to raise his position as he creates him in the best form and offer him with two pairs man and woman and Islam care of woman extensively to stay booster and honored surrounded by father mercy and kindness as well as protection and care of her husband thus Allah gave her more rights than man to be a precious jewel protected from any harm since she is for jewelries and beautification needed from man and when has sons she prepares men and women so her grace increases as she is the mother of hero, kings and scientists and the whole kiss her hand and bow and you never her from her except good words mercy and supplications, therefore each girl should know that her esteem and glory is associated with herself respectfulness and her family.

She should protect herself to indecency and loss that lead to loss of every thing.

Girls who runaway from home and scandal her family have no future and walk in a dark ay after loosing cozy family nest surrounding them with love and care replacing them by fierce monsters that do present anything freely and destroying them leaving them after loosing everything except repent and regret as well as Allah anger and torment in on earth and in the otherworld

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